You think English is easy??? Read to the end . . . a new twist 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ? You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

 At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.  
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP! 
 
Now it's UP to you what you do with this write-ups.

Easy to occupy a place in the telephone directory;
Difficult to occupy the heart of somebody.

Easy to judge the errors of others;
Difficult to recoqnize our own errors.

Easy to hurt those whom we love;
Difficult to heal those wounds.

Easy to forgive others;
Difficult to ask for forgiveness.

Easy to exhibit victory;
Difficult to assume defeat with dignity.

Easy to dream every night;
Difficult to fight for a dream.

Easy to pray every night;
Difficult to find God in the smallest of thing.

Easy to say we love;
Difficult to demonstrate it every day.

Easy to criticize everybody;
Difficult to better/perfect ourselves.

Easy to think of improving;
Difficult to stop thinking & really do it.

Easy to receive; Difficult to give..

arrrggghh... entah apa mo tulis ni... baik xyah tulis.. hehhee, takda idea...

Ahirnya, dengan kesungguhan team produksi dan penerbit serta para pelakon, sebuah syarikat tempatan Sabah, IMMORTELLE CREATIVE SDN BHD telah berjaya menerbitkan sebuah telemovie yang mana 80% penggunaan bahasanya adalah dalam Bahasa KadazanDusun yang bertajuk ‘BAMBAZON’ yang diarahkan oleh Nurhalim Hj. Ismail yang berasal dari Kuala Lumpur selain menjadi penulis skrip bagi telemovie ini.

Telemovie ini berkisar tentang dilema seorang gadis, Ivy (LINDA NANUWIL) yang telah dipilih untuk menjadi seorang unduk ngadau bagi memenuhi kehendak masyarakat dan adat resam yang diamalkan sejak turun temurun oleh masyarakat Kadazandusun. Namun pada zaman moden ini, Ivy, yang juga sedang mengikuti pengajian di universiti merasakan bahawa ianya sudah tidak relevan lagi memandangkan Ivy berkeinginan untuk keluar dari kepompong adat resam yang baginya tidak dapat memajukan dirinya dan masyarakat sesuku.

Dengan masa yang sama, Ivy juga terlibat dengan cinta 3 segi antara Aggidau (FELIX AGUS) yang sekampug dengannya dan Doi (EBI KORNELIS), anak ahli korporat yang sepengajiannya dengannya di universiti. Adakah Ivy tetap akan berpegang kepada prinsipnya atau pun kembali kepada adapt resamnya? Apakah kesudahan cinta 3 segi yang terjadi antara mereka? Sempena Pesta Kaamatan 2009, saksikanlah kesudahannya di saluran RTM 2 pada 29 Mei 2009 (Jumaat) pada pukul 12.30 tengahari. Sebarang komen amatlah dialu-alukan.

Selain itu, ulangan siaran telemovie bertajuk 'KASIHNYA DI BAWAH BAYU' terbitan syarikat yang sama akan ditayangkan pada pukul 10.00 pagi di RTM 2 pada 30 Mei 2009 Arahan Nordin Wahab @ Din CJ. Kepada sesiapa yang belum menonton telemovie ini, anda dialu-alukan untuk meluangkan masa menontonnya yang mengisahkan pengorbanan ibu tunggal.

Keterangan lanjut, sila hubungi Cik Jenney Joanis/ En. Norsahar Ahmad  (HP: 0192198488 / 0128222756)

I

Sunyi...
Hening....
Hanya kedengaran bunyi kipas syiling
Kadangkala terasa hembusan aircond di badanku
Entah mengapa hati kecil ini seakan merinduinya
Dia yang telah pergi beberapa tahun lalu
Gambaran wajahnya menjelma di depan mataku
Senyuman terakhirnya
Genggaman erat jemarinya ketika menyalamiku
Dan pesannya sebelum meninggalkan aku
Keseorangan...
kerana dia SAKIT...
Aku tak mampu menjaganya seorang
Aku terpaksa meminta pertolongan dari makcikku
Pelbagai alasan dia berikan kepada makcikku
AKu tahu...
Dari riak wajahnya
Dia seakan tak sanggup meninggalkan aku keseorangan
Dengan sawah bendang yang masih terbentang luas
Hanya menanti untuk dituai
Dia faham
Aku tak pernah menuainya keseorangan
Tapi apakan daya... aku jua tak mampu menjaganya keseorangan
Lalu duit yang aku berikannya diberikannya semula kepada aku
Hatiku hancur...pedih, dadaku menjadi sebak... kutahan air mataku jatuh
Kerana aku juga perlukan wang
Lalu pergilah dia meninggalkan aku bersama makcikku
Kuhantar mereka dengan pandangan pasrah

II

Kulihat sawah padi yang terbentang luas
Aku mengeluh
Bagaimana mungkin akanku siapkan bendang seluas itu
Menuai keseorangan...
Hendak menangis, takkan ada yang datang membantu
Masing-masing sibuk menuai
AKu melepaskan keluhan berat
Menoleh ke kiri, menoleh ke kana
Melihat sekeliling..
Hanya bukit bukau yang mengelilingiku...
Ah.... hanya Tuhan yang faham perasaanku ketika itu

III

Aku menoleh ke arah bendang
AKu tersenyum kepuasan
Akhirnya dalam beberapa hari aku berjaya akhirnya menuai kesemua padi tersebut
Dan ketika itu juga
Aku merasakan kehidupan sebenar
Dan aku merasakan satu kepuasan yang tak pernah aku alami selama ini
Ku kusat peluh yang membasahi bajuku
Menyuapkan nasi ke mulutku
Tapi entah mengapa, ianya tersekat di kerongkongku
Ahhh... rupanya aku sebak...
Terlalu banyak perkara yang bermain di benakku...
Kadangkala aku merasakan yang Tuhan tak pernah adil ...
Maafkan aku...

IV

Kutinggalkan kampung halamanku semata-mata untuk menggenggam segulung ijazah
Yang selama 3 tahun telah kuharungi pelbagai cabarannya
Cabaran sebagai seorang gadis kampung
Yang tiba-tiba berhijrah ke luar negeri untuk memperluaskan ilmu pengetahuan
Dan kini, aku berada dalam dilema..
Aku tak sempat melawat mereka yang aku sayangi..
Aku kesuntukan masa
Dan juga kerana jarak dan kos yang tak mengizinkan
Sebagai seorang anak yang diajar 'patuh'
Aku sebenarnya serba salah
Tapi aku terpaksa....
Kerana dalam hatiku berkata
Kemungkinan pemergianku kali ini akan mengubah nasib keluargaku

V

2 tahun berlalu
Dengan gaji yang tak seberapa
Aku berusaha sedaya upaya untuk memperuntukkan sedikit wang untu kukirim ke kampung
Hatiku puas
Walaupun sedikit
Ianya adalah hasil titik peluhku sendiri
Dan yang penting
Ianya halal...

VI

Hari itu hari khamis
Aku bersama nenek saudaraku ke pasar tani seperti kebiasaan
Entah mengapa, sejak pagi itu terlalu ramai yang menghubungiku
Terlalu ramai yang menghantar sms
Dan hatiku terpanggil untuk menjawab satu panggilan..
Namun panggilan itu kurang jelas
Setibanya di rumah...
AKu menghubungi pmanggil tersebut
.......
Aku menjadi lemah
Pandanganku berpinar buat seketika...
Dia, yang kusayang telah pergi buat selamanya...
Ketika itu....
Kurasakan duniaku menjadi gelap
Maafkan aku
Seketika.... aku terlupa menjenguk kalian....
Kerana kuingin mengejar impianku, impian kami
Kuingin mengubah hidup kami...
Yang mana kehidupan taklah seindah kehidupan orang lain

VII (EPILOG)

Ku tahu dia kini mampu tersenyum
Kerana sebahagian dari impiannya telah dapat ku kabulkan
Ku doakan sentiasa.. dan sehingga akhir hayatku..
Semoga rohmu bersama orang-orang yang termulia....
Amin.

P/S Kadangkala, bila seseorang itu sudah pergi buat selamanya, barulah kita sedar, betapa bermaknanya dia dalam hidup kita....

MORAL: Bila berjauhan dengan keluarga, cuba luangkan masa untuk menjenguk mereka... sesibuk mana pun... pandai2 lah curi masa... kerana kekesalan untuk seseorang yang masih hidup tak akan terasa tapi sekiranya kekesalan tersebut adalah untuk seseorang yang telah pergi buat selamanya.... seumur hidup kita... ianya akan membelengu hidup kita.. kekesalan yang akan kita bawa sehingga akhir hatay kita..

Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down. His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your gate?"

Boss was not smart enough to understand, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled! When he was about done with some work, he suddenly noticed that his zip was not done up.

He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, he finally understood...then intentionally he went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, he went, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't....all I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 very flat tyres!!!"

Hehehe

Prospective Employer to Applicant: 'So why did you leave your previous
job?'
Applicant: ' The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'
_______________________________________________________________________

Wife: 'Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me and brought all
our five kids with him.'
Radio Host: 'Ok, go ahead!'
Wife: 'Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually only one of
them is yours.'
_______________________________________________________________________

Hello! I'm here again. My mind is all muddled up. I just want to ask
something. I know that you will be able to help me out. Is BIRDS FLU the
past tense of BIRDS FLY?
_______________________________________________________________________

You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very
loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music.  When you were
 going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you
suddenly realized . . . .that you have your MP3 player on your ears !
______________________________________________________________________

WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: 'GO TO HELL',
that's why I came home early.
_______________________________________________________________________

1st night grandma wore a see-thru dress, grandpa didn't react...
2nd night grandma wore t-back, grandpa still didn't react...
3rd night grandma all naked, grandpa said 'what is that you are wearing?,
 it's all crumpled!!'
_______________________________________________________________________

John: it's my wife's birthday
Peter: what's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: what did she said?
John: anything, as long a there is a DIAMOND.
Peter: what did you gave her?
John: playing cards
_________________________________________________________________________

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not t rue! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!

Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!