(As emailed by wipiwi73@yahoo.com)
Samy Vellu on the speed of Pos Laju's delivery system:-
"BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI" :-)
At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said:
`Kemaluan saya besar'
Samy said in a ceramah:
"Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong disini."
One pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy gloriously replied,
"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
Samy's favorite quote on national television:
"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"
During the water crisis:
"semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr..!"
Regarding social problems:
"..orang2 muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."
At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:
"...marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
`Kemaluan saya besar'
Samy said in a ceramah:
"Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong disini."
One pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy gloriously replied,
"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
Samy's favorite quote on national television:
"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"
During the water crisis:
"semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr..!"
Regarding social problems:
"..orang2 muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."
At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:
"...marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
At an opening ceremony:
"Tuan tuan dan puan puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain"
Commenting about his modesty:
"sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"
"Tuan tuan dan puan puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain"
Commenting about his modesty:
"sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"
And the best: u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire is named PLUS.
PLUS Highway = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy
"saya berasa bangga dapat melihat pusat-pusat jururawat yang cantik-cantik.". Upon opening ceremony for nursing training center
"Saya tidak setuju dan menentang sekeras2nya tuduhan PAS memanggil kami kapir ..."
PLUS Highway = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy
"saya berasa bangga dapat melihat pusat-pusat jururawat yang cantik-cantik.". Upon opening ceremony for nursing training center
"Saya tidak setuju dan menentang sekeras2nya tuduhan PAS memanggil kami kapir ..."
Ucapan Samy Vellu sempena kepulangan angsakawan Dr. Sheikh Mudzafar,
"Kita rasa bersyukur kerana angkawasan kita yang telah MENINGGAL DUNIA selama 10 hari telah selamat DIKEBUMI."
"Kita rasa bersyukur kerana angkawasan kita yang telah MENINGGAL DUNIA selama 10 hari telah selamat DIKEBUMI."
………………
Samy Vellu and his Stamps
When Samy Vellu completed 25 years of his role as a politician over M'sia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He insisted the stamp to be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Vellu.
He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
Samy Vellu and his Stamps
When Samy Vellu completed 25 years of his role as a politician over M'sia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He insisted the stamp to be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Vellu.
He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
Sammy Vellu and his old boss, Mahathir
General Musharaf, Samy Vellu, Mahathir and Gloria Arroyo are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Arroyo and Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed. Samy Vellu is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Musharraf is thinking: "These Malaysians are all crazy after Arroyo. Samy must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."
Arroyo is thinking: "Samy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Musharraf instead and got slapped."
Samy is thinking: "Damn it, Musharaf must have tried to kiss Arroyo, she thought it was me and slapped me."
Mahathir is simply thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Samy again."
Musharraf is thinking: "These Malaysians are all crazy after Arroyo. Samy must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."
Arroyo is thinking: "Samy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Musharraf instead and got slapped."
Samy is thinking: "Damn it, Musharaf must have tried to kiss Arroyo, she thought it was me and slapped me."
Mahathir is simply thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Samy again."
Samy Vellu ditemuramah tentang program angkasawan negara.
Samy: "…Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat. Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita…."
Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi sana ?
Samy: Cit! itu pasal la u tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang, manyak panas. kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk……
Samy: "…Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat. Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita…."
Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi sana ?
Samy: Cit! itu pasal la u tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang, manyak panas. kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk……
P/S Just to share, no offence... no harm one ma ... right or not? hehehehe