Kampunggirl

TIPS FOR TODAY

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:27:33 GMT

Have faith in all you do,
as good things come
to those who wait.
Be patient!

P/S:

Hearts could love only for a while
feet could walk only for a while
clothes wouldn�t forever be in style but
having you as my lover friend is forever worthwhile...
Missin' u...

Once upon a time a sweetest thing happened to me.
It was the sweetest thing that ever could be.
It was a fantasy
A dream come true.
It was the day I met you...
Thanks for being a fantastic lover friend of mine...

(U know who u are... well, only you and I.. hehehe)

...Christmas is coming..
whoaa.... bestnya.....

CAN I BORROW RM25?

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:35:18 GMT

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.

SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make RM 50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow RM 25?'

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM 25 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.

'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the RM 25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have RM 50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that RM 50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

FIRST TIME SEX

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:25:24 GMT

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

BREAKFAST @ McDONALD

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:57:13 GMT

This is a good story and is true, please readit all the way through until the end. (After the story, there are some very interesting facts.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'SMILE.'
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, thought this would be a piece of cake literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch, an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'SMILING'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvatio n. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reach out and embracedthe little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiles and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes and said, 'Thank You'. I leaned over, began tp pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..' We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I retuned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?' I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS, NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE!

- Have a Good Everyone, May God Bless Us -

LAGI LAGI SAMY

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:42:36 GMT

(As emailed by wipiwi73@yahoo.com)

Samy Vellu on the speed of Pos Laju's delivery system:-

"BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI" :-)

At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said:

`Kemaluan saya besar'

Samy said in a ceramah:

"Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong disini."

One pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy gloriously replied,

"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"

Samy's favorite quote on national television:

"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"

During the water crisis:

"semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr..!"

Regarding social problems:

"..orang2 muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."

At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:

"...marilah kita semua menderma dara.."

At an opening ceremony:

"Tuan tuan dan puan puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain"

Commenting about his modesty:

"sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"

And the best: u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire is named PLUS.

PLUS Highway = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy

"saya berasa bangga dapat melihat pusat-pusat jururawat yang cantik-cantik.". Upon opening ceremony for nursing training center

"Saya tidak setuju dan menentang sekeras2nya tuduhan PAS memanggil kami kapir ..."

Ucapan Samy Vellu sempena kepulangan angsakawan Dr. Sheikh Mudzafar,

"Kita rasa bersyukur kerana angkawasan kita yang telah MENINGGAL DUNIA selama 10 hari telah selamat DIKEBUMI."

��

Samy Vellu and his Stamps

When Samy Vellu completed 25 years of his role as a politician over M'sia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He insisted the stamp to be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Vellu.

He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

Sammy Vellu and his old boss, Mahathir

General Musharaf, Samy Vellu, Mahathir and Gloria Arroyo are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Arroyo and Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed. Samy Vellu is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Musharraf is thinking: "These Malaysians are all crazy after Arroyo. Samy must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."

Arroyo is thinking: "Samy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Musharraf instead and got slapped."

Samy is thinking: "Damn it, Musharaf must have tried to kiss Arroyo, she thought it was me and slapped me."

Mahathir is simply thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Samy again."

Samy Vellu ditemuramah tentang program angkasawan negara.

Samy: "�Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat. Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita�."

Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi sana ?

Samy: Cit! itu pasal la u tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang, manyak panas. kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk��

P/S Just to share, no offence... no harm one ma ... right or not? hehehehe

LAWYER WITH A HEART?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:38:24 GMT

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'

'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'

'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the lawyer said.

'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.'

'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us, also.'

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'

'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind.'

'Thank you for taking all of us with you.'

The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it.

'You'll really love my place.

'The grass is almost a foot high'

SIMPLY ROMANTIC

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:03:12 GMT

Message: can any message be more touching than this?

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.

Jasmine: I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2
persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.

Daniel: Yup! I don't know what to do.

Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game.

Daniel: What game?

Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.

Daniel: That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the
following weeks..

DAY 1:

They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.

DAY 4:

They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.

DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scared

and she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..

DAY 14:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The
fortune teller said: 'My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily.' Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.

DAY 28:

They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29:

11:37 pm

Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game...

Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..

Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.

Daniel: Wait for me...

20 minutes later... a stranger approached Jasmine.

Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine: Yes, why? What happened?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital .

11:57pm

The doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says:

Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my
life. I love you, Jasmine...

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..

'Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me

Then the clock strikes 12

Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...

************************************************************************************

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of
everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

Don't regret it later.

YOU THINK ENGLISH IS EASY????

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 07:32:13 GMT

THIS IS GREAT!!! Read all the way to the end................ This took a lot of work to put together!!!

You think English is easy???

Read to the end . . . a new twist

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!

Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.

A STORY TO LIVE BY...

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:28:37 GMT

There was a blind girl who hatred herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

CHINESE JEWS

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:22:36 GMT

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjie, "Are there any Jews in China ?"
"I don't know," Oscar replied.
"Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai ?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Benjie asked.
"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China , our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."
"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea."